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aahfeekiee

why i became inactive on COP

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greetings :entrance:

so I've been hearing through the grapevine that there's been people asking about where I went and why I was gone after the COP drama that subsequently led to the creation of WOP. I can't find the posts, maybe some of them were in a discord server and others in a hidden or deleted posts, so let me just address some things here to whomever might come across this post. if you're not keen on reading huge chunks of text then feel free to go read something else! it's super duper cool with me

anyway the main purpose of my online presence on my socials is to create engagement, across different topics I'm passionate about - like music, pop culture, ethnic cuisines, consumer technology and southeasian politics. it didn't matter if I got opinions I disagreed with, I just love having an open conversation on things. I love finding out what people's music tastes are like, why they like certain things in music, and what music I can recommend to them. I also love finding out how people arrive to the opinions they have today based on their thought process, the circumstances they were in and sources of information they had access to. anyone who has ever entertained me like that on COP I am so, so, so grateful for them.

but I realized not long after being active here that I wasn't getting the level of engagement I wanted, especially relative to the other stuff that kept this forum afloat, like Battlegrounds and SYG - two things I personally didn't care for. I don't think of myself as some virtuous person for not liking those things, it just so happens to not be a thing that adds to my enjoyment. and after the forum branched off into WOP, it further divided an already small demographic into two communities way smaller than they were combined. :icant2:

[personal updates on me online]

Spoiler

I ended up being inactive on both forums, but I stayed active on discord (in @TattoosOnMyMind's K-Pop forum for COP runaways) and on Twitter (remade after having been suspended by jailbait posters on 4chan and Tinashe's 5 stans, none of whom can take a fucking joke) It was that server that made me not cut off contact with everyone here, I'm there almost everyday, I get to ask everyone there directly their opinions on music, and I get to rant about life in a space where people will listen. It's great and I am so thankful for people like @TattoosOnMyMind @Tana Mongeau @MISS CAMARADERIE @cosmicshark @akihabalove and @rose who have become some of my closest friends since.

[personal updates on me irl] 

Spoiler

during the time i was gone from here, a lot of things have happened! I've gotten a practicing license for audio engineering and am currently under contract by a prominent international label group in Singapore to master audio for commercial work, as well as to set up audio equipment for K-Pop concerts here. I've also performed on music festivals across Asia and am currently rehearsing for a fusion music festival performance happening this August.

I also have writing credits for the debut album of a small Singaporean band, and a demo I wrote years ago has been sold to a Japanese pop label and released proper albeit without my consent. also as a passion project, I wrote an extensive thesis on the impact of radical religion on K-Pop's influence in Southeast Asia, sourced through research and interviews by concert organizers, journalists, talent agency staff and university professors. it has since been referenced in numerous lectures and definitely a thing I'm proud of!

but there's also been some bad stuff, like the cancer in my throat blocking my air passage :coma2: strained relationships with the family, financial troubles, and this morning when i lost my wallet that had the slip granting subsidies for the clinical trial that treats my cancer... :rip: pray for me dear LORDT

anyway I really don't blame anyone on COP for not making the most ideal environment for the engagements I was looking for, and to present it as that is very shortsighted. sure, there were many drama hungry members that made it difficult, but at the end of the day the very UI of forums in itself incentivizes neither high quality posts not constructive arguments. in any pop culture forum at all, the type of content I personally enjoy seeing is few and far in between, so it's unfair to paint it as a COP-specific issue.

sure, from this point on we can try to promote a more positive culture that encourages people to say constructive things, but that's near impossible and will also alienate the majority who are just here to dish out on flops to escape irl problems. by the time anyone even comes close to achieving that goal, forums would already be largely surpassed by social media (mainly twitter and reddit) as the main means of pop culture discourse as this downward trend only continues. that's a responsibility i'm not willing to take, and an uphill slope i'm not willing to work against. 

there are so many people on here I really missed (i don't bother finding out what everyone's new handles are), even people I frequently argued with while I was still active. I had a good run of a few months here, but pop forums aren't something that makes me happy anymore. while it's unlikely that I'll come back here as an active member, I can always check back here once a month or every time someone sends me a topic where someone dramatically threatens to leave but doesn't.

no hard feelings, yeah? :vegas: 

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