Jump to content
New COP Promotion!!! Read more... ×
Church of Pop Big Brother | SIGN UP NOW! Read more... ×

Craig

I'm Starting to feel like I can't cope...

Recommended Posts

So sorry to hear i know how it feels to have controlling parents, im not exactly same reason but it sucks u cant have some private contact on tinder.

I hope ur parents learn to deal with you being bisexual since its common these days ♡

Stay strong x

  • Upvote 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well first and foremost there's a clear invasion of privacy (Mark Zuckerberg or Cardi B, anyone?) going on in your life. It's a critical issue that a person of your age is monitored by his parents, and boundaries has to be set immediately.

As for your sexuality, you need to flat out stand up to them about your feelings. Not accepting people for who they are can make the dismissed party feel all sorts of negative emotions, but it's at that point where one realizes that people never see it as we want them to. In which case, we stand up to ourselves and issue boundaries and firm statements that we can't change, and those who will ride this journey with us are more than welcome and those who don't are free to be rebuffed from this very personal journey.

Your parents should not enforce your emotions to be nullified as that's just stupid. We're in 2018 suppressing something doesn't work and you should explicitly tell them that. You might not want to disappoint them, but guess what, life isn't just a trip where our parents will always be satisfied with everything we do; there are many occasions they will be let down but this one is their own personal struggle with your own personal emotions, so it's their loss, really.

Eventually they'll accept you for who you are, but till then you either freely express yourself or at least find some middle grounds where you can do what you like without your parents actual knowledge until you're ready to be in command with your self and your actions.

  • Upvote 4
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Lemons said:

1. I knew you weren’t straight :beyr:

2. You need to take control of your own life. It sounds like you need to stick up for yourself in this situation instead of letting your parents dictate what they feel is best for you. Your happiness and sanity is what’s important here, not theirs. This is your life and setting up it’s foundations on a lie and repressed feelings will only lead to an eventual collapse. I get that you want to make them happy and you don’t want to disappoint them but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Take control now before it’s too late. 

Also there seems to be an issue with boundaries, you need your privacy and them imposing on that is quite gross and bad parenting. So yeah, take a stand. You’re too old to be letting them treat you like this. 

I know I know, but they are helping fund my swimming which I still want to do. I have hopes of making it to the Olympics one day. They told me that if I can't stop thinking about guys I would have to leave the house. I'd have no where to go. 

They also pay for my phone bill, I don't have a job but if I can make it in swimming then I can get money from that. I'm going to college in August, which is a full time course. I do need my parents support, but at the same time I don't feel happy with how I'm living. 

What I need is a beard to make them happy, but it seems like  (to me anyway) that girls don't seem to be that interested in me, and/or they are on Tinder just for fun. 

I want to take control, but if I do then I'd have nowhere to go. I have a roof over my head, there's food on the table, I'm still doing the sport that I love... and I feel like that would all go if I take a stand. 

  • Upvote 3
  • Love 1
  • Give a Cookie 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Craig said:

I know I know, but they are helping fund my swimming which I still want to do. I have hopes of making it to the Olympics one day. They told me that if I can't stop thinking about guys I would have to leave the house. I'd have no where to go. 

They also pay for my phone bill, I don't have a job but if I can make it in swimming then I can get money from that. I'm going to college in August, which is a full time course. I do need my parents support, but at the same time I don't feel happy with how I'm living. 

What I need is a beard to make them happy, but it seems like  (to me anyway) that girls don't seem to be that interested in me, and/or they are on Tinder just for fun. 

I want to take control, but if I do then I'd have nowhere to go. I have a roof over my head, there's food on the table, I'm still doing the sport that I love... and I feel like that would all go if I take a stand. 

Then honestly right now your best bet is to hide your interactions with boys. They don't need to know about everything going on with your life if it is for the best. You could still take the lead role in your life you'd just have to play it a little smart to coop.

Homophobia exists and it's sad parents can't accept their parents but I don't have much experience with acceptance and its struggles to talk about it more so l'm giving much advice as I can from an outside perspective. 

  • Upvote 4
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, badgallaura said:

Then honestly right now your best bet is to hide your interactions with boys. They don't need to know about everything going on with your life if it is for the best. You could still take the lead role in your life you'd just have to play it a little smart to coop.

Homophobia exists and it's sad parents can't accept their parents but I don't have much experience with acceptance and its struggles to talk about it more so l'm giving much advice as I can from an outside perspective. 

Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it. It just sucks that it has to be this way 

  • Give a Cookie 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest IsThatSaraS

I agree with Lemons.

You are in control of your own life. Do whatever makes you happy.... and I kinda doubted you were straight too... :gaycat: 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

It honestly doesn’t seem worth it, living a life you’re not happy with just because they’re funding your swimming. This is gonna sound a little harsh but you need to grow up, get a job or find another way to fund your swimming and move out. You’re never gonna be happy if you keep living in the same situation. And I honestly can’t even believe your dad goes through your phone, how gross.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went through this for a little while until I told my grandmother that it doesn’t matter how many girls I talk with, I’m just not ever going to be with one. Granted your situation is much hard and I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Is swimming really that important to risk being who you are? Sorry if that’s harsh but it’s genuine. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be something your not just for them to support you. That’s not what parents are suppose to do. I’m sorry again this is happening and I hope to god it gets better for you. I really do. It’s a struggle with shitty parents sometimes. Keep your head up! <3

  • Upvote 3
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, XxJTheBerrixX said:

I went through this for a little while until I told my grandmother that it doesn’t matter how many girls I talk with, I’m just not ever going to be with one. Granted your situation is much hard and I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Is swimming really that important to risk being who you are? Sorry if that’s harsh but it’s genuine. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be something your not just for them to support you. That’s not what parents are suppose to do. I’m sorry again this is happening and I hope to god it gets better for you. I really do. It’s a struggle with shitty parents sometimes. Keep your head up! <3

I would be heartbroken if I were to be stopped from swimming. Its the one thing in life that I'd say I'm good at. I really want to be one of the best. I mean, I don't know how long I'll still swim for but as of now I'm not that far away from being in the Olympics or Commonwealths. 

I understand where everyone is coming from. Thank you so much for everyone's advice, I appreciate it so much :heart:  It's just a hard time for me and this is the only place where I can express how I feel.

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, Craig said:

I know I know, but they are helping fund my swimming which I still want to do. I have hopes of making it to the Olympics one day. They told me that if I can't stop thinking about guys I would have to leave the house. I'd have no where to go. 

They also pay for my phone bill, I don't have a job but if I can make it in swimming then I can get money from that. I'm going to college in August, which is a full time course. I do need my parents support, but at the same time I don't feel happy with how I'm living. 

The first step is getting a job then. Earn some independence and expand your options. Being an Olympian is a dream and dreams are great but you also need some stability and a plan B. 

Quote

What I need is a beard to make them happy, but it seems like  (to me anyway) that girls don't seem to be that interested in me, and/or they are on Tinder just for fun. 

Or instead of potentially hurting someone else by using them as your beard, remain single and tell your parents that your primary focus is working hard on trying to make your dreams a reality. 

Quote

I want to take control, but if I do then I'd have nowhere to go. I have a roof over my head, there's food on the table, I'm still doing the sport that I love... and I feel like that would all go if I take a stand. 

As I said above, focus on yourself and tell your parents that you don’t need the distraction of a relationship at this point in your life. You can always meet guys for fun on the downlow so long as you’re very discreet and you time it right. It will all come together eventually, you’re still young.

  • Upvote 2
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Lemons said:

The first step is getting a job then. Earn some independence and expand your options. Being an Olympian is a dream and dreams are great but you also need some stability and a plan B. 

Or instead of potentially hurting someone else by using them as your beard, remain single and tell your parents that your primary focus is working hard on trying to make your dreams a reality. 

As I said above, focus on yourself and tell your parents that you don’t need the distraction of a relationship at this point in your life. You can always meet guys for fun on the downlow so long as you’re very discreet and you time it right. It will all come together eventually, you’re still young.

Thank you so much, it honestly means a lot. 

  • Upvote 2
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I honestly have so much advice to tell you since we basically live under the same parents rules. Even though my father doesn't check my phone and begs me for a girlfriend. I still live with really REALLY homophobic parents. Yes, just like you. I need funding, they pay for my car and food and some things i need in my life. And the thought of that going away because of my sexuality is really terrifying. My dad also wants me to start growing my beard and scolded few times for shaving my legs calling me a fag and the rest of the slurs. I know this is a really shitty thing to say but i'd advise you to hide your sexuality. I know it's hard, i really understand you. You can logout of your tinder account or change your passwords so your dad leaves the kiddish behaviour. I wouldn't say live a different life, just don't give them what they exactly want. Say you're into girls and grow a some facial hair, hell have you seen my mustache? :rip:. You can open the subject of marriage and have a future kids, telling my mom and dad my future children name worked for me A LOT :ariscared:. If you want more advise and to talk to someone im always there sissy. :arisass:

  • Upvote 5
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My heart aches for you 

Sometimes we have to sacrifice part of our lives to keep others. Try to work on getting self-sufficient, so you can leave home. Until then, maybe take a break from dating. 

  • Upvote 2
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You need to explain to them that your attraction to boys is nothing that can be shaken off. This is who you are and they'll have to learn to accept that. I feel sorry for you and I hope your parents learn to be less ignorant.

 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×