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badgallaura

Need Help on How to Console My Friend

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A couple of months ago my grandpa died and it felt like the worst feeling ever, but everyone here in COP made me feel love and showered me with amazing words and that made me feel a lot better. Thing is, I do like to be surrounded by people when I'm hurt, as I don't like to be left alone and live dully. Reason I'm bringing that up is that I feel that's what most people would tell me to do, show her immense support from everyone. However, I don't know how to think my friend will react to such a scenario, but I know she likes talking about things that bother her, but not so sure how will she open up about losing a loved one, you know?

It's really hard for me to comfort someone. I really have no idea what words to use in such a situation, it's really hard to form a sentence or utter words that mean "I'm supporting you fully and I'll constantly be here for you" it's SO frustrating umPNFtY.gif!

I know people who lost a dead person don't like to be reminded they're strong, or that's just how life goes, or that it was meant to be or anything of that sort. Aside from that I'm completely stumped and at loss of words. I've been avoiding her for a few hours but I really need to do something but my hands are tied.

So please if anyone knows a thing or two I can say please help! I want to be there for my friend but I do need some advice on how to handle this situation!

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My grandpa died last december, and from what I gathered from the experience it's that it's not so much what people say to you that helps you heal but what they do. Make sure to remind her you're always gonna be there for her anytime she needs you, at any hour!

Also try to distract her a bit. Losing a loved one is always different for people, everybody reacts a certain way. But getting busy and being surrounded by friends/loved ones is what kept me going mostly, maybe it'll work for her too.

 

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in reality just offer her your time, patience, and emotional availability; if she wants to approach and search for personal comfort or something to distract her let it happen- it can be weird trying to gauge somebodies trauma and their preference of dealing with it. Some people would rather cry it out, other's just want to not talk about it and move on; the best thing to do is just let her know you're there for whenever and whatever. Make sure she acknowledges and understands, not just sees you as a general person giving sympathy like "call me anytime", make sure she fully knows you're down for her

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Just now, Tomás said:

My grandpa died last december, and from what I gathered from the experience it's that it's not so much what people say to you that helps you heal but what they do. Make sure to remind her you're always gonna be there for her anytime she needs you, at any hour!

Also try to distract her a bit. Losing a loved one is always different for people, everybody reacts a certain way. But getting busy and being surrounded by friends/loved ones is what kept me going mostly, maybe it'll work for her too.

 

Just now, Tomás said:

Sidenote there's not much you can do actually dd just make sure you're there when she needs you, that's what counts

Just now, Salvatore said:

in reality just offer her your time, patience, and emotional availability; if she wants to approach and search for personal comfort or something to distract her let it happen- it can be weird trying to gauge somebodies trauma and their preference of dealing with it. Some people would rather cry it out, other's just want to not talk about it and move on; the best thing to do is just let her know you're there for whenever and whatever. Make sure she acknowledges and understands, not just sees you as a general person giving sympathy like "call me anytime", make sure she fully knows you're down for her

I'll work on the advice you gave me thank you very much rtBlKGs.png

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Just be with her, just show your there, when my dad died nobody knew how to react. It was on last week of school, i still went there pretending it didnt happen because I was in delulu land. But people didnt know how to react my close friends didnt talk to me and ones who barely knew me gave me comfort. So i felt like i still wasnt alone.  So yeah i think best you could do is be there, try and her mind off stuff time to time and when shes ready to sob, be her open arms. Really is no way to make someone feel better after a loved one passes.

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On 5/13/2018 at 3:33 AM, Gratitude said:

Just be with her, just show your there, when my dad died nobody knew how to react. It was on last week of school, i still went there pretending it didnt happen because I was in delulu land. But people didnt know how to react my close friends didnt talk to me and ones who barely knew me gave me comfort. So i felt like i still wasnt alone.  So yeah i think best you could do is be there, try and her mind off stuff time to time and when shes ready to sob, be her open arms. Really is no way to make someone feel better after a loved one passes.

I'll always be there for you Legend 

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