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TheKeshaRose

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About TheKeshaRose


  • User Group: VIP


  • Member ID: 992


  • Post Count: 536


  • Post Ratio: 1.41


  • Total Rep: 97


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  • Joined: 07/04/2017


  • Been With Us For: 380 Days


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  1. Yeah, yeah, I know. I told him that, and he will just agree and sometimes I just feel he agrees so I will shut up about it. Then I wonder why we're even dating sometimes. I just feel I have to sacrifice a lot and he doesn't have to at all. It's too much.
  2. Thank you, I really appreciate it. I hope the same, if I ever figure it out.
  3. I think I just need a few days away from with no communication to attempt to organize my thoughts, you know? But, I just really love him (although he won't tell me that) and I want to try and fix it, if it can be fixed. But I just don't see him trying.
  4. It might have to come to that. I was thinking of just going radio silent for a few days, and see if he agrees to really work on our situation.
  5. A queen supporting a queen. We stan.
  6. Breaking up has been on my mind because I just don't know if I can trust him after what all happened. But then I just get scared of being alone again and someone else getting together with him, I can't make up my mind.
  7. I tried to talk to him last night about it but he just got extremely annoyed and said that it's his problem that he needs to fix himself. And, right, I'm not mad he watches it, I just hate that we aren't doing anything. It makes me feel like I can't produce the same result porn does for him. And that's what my one friend said, that it sounds like an excuse and that he's hiding something, but I don't know. A lot of people have told me that it's over and I should just leave because it isn't fair to me.
  8. Hey, everybody. These past few weeks have been a big struggle for myself. In early May, I had a fight with a very close friend. She attacked me and said that I was this terrible person, I was always negative, I never cared about her feelings, I forced her to do all of these things, and I made her not want to be around me. Then she went and blocked me on everything, even my number. After that, my panic attacks began to get really bad again. (I suffer from panic attacks, depression, severe anxiety, mood swings, and an eating disorder) But, my panic attacks starting happening multiple times a week and I started going to my boyfriend about it because I didn't really have anyone else to talk to about anything. I was telling him that when my attacks get bad, I overthink a lot and my mind races and I have these thoughts and every little thing makes me think the world is against me, or that I'm annoying him, etc. I never could make sense of what I was saying because I barely understood what was going on, haha. But, I went back on medication I used to be on to try and see if that would help anything, and it did. But, then something happened that just to make everything worse. One night I was coming back from the ER, and I went to stop at my boyfriends house just so see him for a few minutes before I headed home. While he was making dinner, I went upstairs to grab the phone charger I keep in his room for when I stay over. As I was walking past his dresser, his Apple Watch went off. I checked just because it was there, no real reason. It was a message from his friend, Lora, who set him and I up together. The message said "Just tell him I'm sick and you need to come and get me from class." I didn't really think much about it, probably just random conversation they were having. Later that week, I stayed over again that Friday night. The next morning, when he went downstairs while I was still sleeping, I thought about that message I saw and decided to just see what they were talking about. So, I go all the way to that weekend (Saturday from the previous week is when they started talking about me) That Saturday he texted her saying "He won't leave me alone." Then the next day on Sunday he texted "He's still here." And then WHILE I was at his house that Monday he texted her again saying "He's back again." and then he texted after I left "He left I like seeing him but that would've been four straight days." I read that and felt hurt, my boyfriend was complaining I was spending too much time with him after not seeing him for four weeks because of vacation. I went downstairs and told him I had to go home. I barely talked to him that day and went to bed early because I was mad. I woke up that Sunday and decided to go to a beautiful park by myself. I was also going to see Oceans 8 later that night, and my boyfriend invited himself to see it with me. So, we go see the movie and then go to Sheetz after because he was hungry and he wanted to grab something to eat. We go to my car and I tell him again things that are just going on, so I can vent and get over the attack I was having. Everything was fine, he said that he wouldn't leave and he would support me. So, we both went home and everything seemed fine. I went back to his house that Thursday and I saw a message he sent to his friend Lora saying "Omgg Lora. It's Jerry, it's the same thing over and over again." I sat there thinking, great... he's complaining about my problems to his friend. I still stayed the night because I was tired and didn't want to drive home. I just told myself to never go to him about any of my problems then if that's how he was going to deal with it. I acted like everything was fine, but I kept my distance and went over a week without seeing him. Then I go back Thursday night because he asked me to come and stay the night, so I did for whatever reason. I looked at his apple watch thinking there would be another message, but there wasn't, so I felt good about that. Later that night I washed some clothes, and I left them there in the morning because I was going to grab them after work. Sometimes when I stay over night with him I forget clothes and I borrow some of his, something he has told me was okay to do, he didn't care. So, he took my clothes out of the dryer and he found a pair of his underwear with my clothes. When I went back to his house, I looked at the watch again and I saw he texted Lora saying "Jerry asked if he could do laundry last night, and I said sure. I took them out of the dryer today and I found a pair of my underwear. He must've taken it, that's weird." and she said, "yeah, that is weird." and he said "He leaves cups everywhere." and she said "that's weirder than the underwear." and he said "it's because he's lazy." I saw that and just snapped. I went downstairs, threw his underwear in his basket and just left. I went back a few minutes later telling him we needed to talk up his room. When we get up there I ask him if there was anything he needed to tell me? he said no. Then I asked if he had told anyone anything about me behind my back? he said no. So then I started to say "Well, I'm sorry that I'm so lazy and that I took a pair of your underwear. I'm also sorry that I spend too much time with you, my boyfriend, and that my problems are the same thing over and over again." He was trying to get me to calm down and he started saying "The reason I didn't tell you I wanted a day to myself was because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. And I regret not doing so, and about the problems, I just meant that you kept talking about the same things but you weren't doing anything to get help but now you are and I'm very proud of you, and the reason I told Lora was because she's my best friend and I needed advice, I didn't know what to do. And I was just joking about what I said today, you're not lazy that's just my friendship with her, it's how we talk to each other." I was still just getting mad because I didn't know what to feel. So, I left because I had plans with my friend Jess. I texted him about 10 that night telling him goodnight and his response was "I'm hungry." and I sent him all these messages and he said "I've learned from this situation, I would like to go to bed now, goodnight hun." And I barely talked to him on Saturday, besides telling him to meet me for lunch on Sunday to talk about a few things. He barely would let me talk about it on Sunday, so I just went home and texted him a few hours later telling him we still need to talk. He kept asking if it could wait and I refused. So I went down, and I brought up the main issue I had. In the past three months, I've caught him watching porn on his phone. When he saw that I would see it he would hide it from me. At first it didn't bother me until it was three months later and we hadn't had sex or done anything sexually together. At first I thought it was me and my appearance, so I brought it up. He told me it was because when he was in high school that he used to meet with older men and they wouldn't use condoms sometimes or force him to do things he didn't wanna do. So he said he went to porn so he didn't feel pressured because he can't really cum anymore with someone else, he has to watch porn. But I just get mad because he's told me he's had sex in past relationships and he's done hookups with guys he has went on dates with before we met, and that he's always talked about us having sex and stuff... I just have no idea what to do. I don't know how to feel, if I have a reason to be mad, if I am just overreacting. I have no idea, haha. I really don't.
  9. I see Panic! in a few hours. Let the hype begin!

    1. Dark Salvation

      Dark Salvation

      Have a good time! :hug:

      Β 

    2. TheKeshaRose

      TheKeshaRose

      Awe, thank you! My boyfriend bought the tickets for my B-Day a few months ago, although him and I are currently fighting, tonight will be amazing regardless!Β 

  10. Twitter: TheKeshaRose Insta: JerryRoseSebert Snap: CrackItUpBarney Follow/Add me!
  11. I honestly feel so bad for her. Witness is a really good album. She did not deserve any of the hate she received. Witness was ahead of its time. People weren't ready for the unfriendly radio hits the album contained. People had in their mind that Katy was just radio hits, and when she released an album that was extremely personal to her and she felt great about it, people tore her down. So, I hope those that did that are happy because you ruined her self esteem. But, it's fine, KP5 will be when she bounces back and show's everyone how it's done. She's unbothered though as she made $85 Million last year and this year.
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